Single Lady Skills are Cool

I didn't think about it much until recently, but eleven years of living on your own breeds useful skills.  It is hard to believe sometimes that I am even old enough to discuss eleven years of doing anything (besides maybe walking or eating or something), let alone eleven years of doing grown-up things.  Of course, some of those years have been a little more "grown-up" than others.  It began with leaving Ohio for Nashville, in a basically controlled environment- purchasing my groceries in a "Munchie Mart" on my VandyCard - and flew by, evolving into the last several years, some with a roommate, some without, basically supporting myself and being generally (I said generally) self-sufficient.

Those eleven years were, at times, filled with moments of wishing I was not on my own.  In college there was the occasional bout of homesickness (I'm still not immune), which later in my twenties became the fear-of-being-alone (you know, with cats).  Don't get me wrong - I hate cats, and most of the time, I really enjoyed my independence.  But, there were the times - and they certainly multiplied as the Facebook posts about engagements, weddings, and babies did too - that flying solo didn't seem that great.  But, as life would have it, now that those concerns are gone, I am appreciating things about those days that I never could have then.

First of all, being single for so long taught me lots of neat skills.  For example, I can assemble an Ikea-brand-anything like nobody's business.  I am not a skilled builder and my spatial reasoning leaves much to be desired, but after all of those years moving by myself (six apartments in five years), I learned to throw out things I could not pick up, and then buy even more, even cheaper stuff... Ikea was my best friend.

I also know how to hang things.  I can use a drill, a hammer, and a screwdriver, of course -- but I am also proficient with 3M's line of household products.  And, after I hang things, I can ghetto rig them when they won't hang just right.  Look behind ten hanging pictures in my home and you will find tape or something of the sort holding the corner juuuust so...

I can carry twenty bags of groceries up seven flights of stairs in one trip (although I couldn't do five push-ups if I tried), make gourmet meals with a less-than-complete kitchen set, get wine spots out of comforters, make $25 last for two weeks.... well, you probably get the idea.

This week actually marks five years that I have been at my first (and only) "grown-up" job, been in Orlando, and really, truly, on my own.  Looking back, I know that-girl-then would have been pretty excited about where life is for this-girl-now... but I can't help but look back, just a little.

Moving in, getting engaged, all of that stuff I have been waiting for a long time (no - like, really, a looooong time - refer to last post for specifics), but now that it's here, I can't help but think a little about how cool that time on my own really was.  I definitely feel a palpable shift taking place - like I am stepping from one vortex into another - and it is both exciting and terrifying, all at once.

At least at the end of the day, there is someone in this house who knows how to change a lightbulb... ;-)

Stuck With Me

I always thought that my birthday was the best day I could have on Facebook.  There's something about hundreds of people I haven't spoken to in years sending a very special "HBD" my way that just thrills me.  In elementary school we used to have the privilege of picking a "birthday table" in the lunchroom - your parents could even come and eat lunch with you, which was pretty cool then - although I'm sure kids aren't allowed to do things that exclusive in school anymore.  Either way, Facebook on my birthday kinda feels like that.

It turns out that Facebook when you get engaged is even better.  I forget sometimes that birthdays, to the average person, aren't the momentous, one-month-long extravaganzas that I make them - but that an engagement, well, that's kind of a big deal to most.  Anyway, due to such great public interest, I thought I might as well write about it, as my blogging has been slacking off lately anyway.

The (Long) Preface

I would like to preface by saying that for the last six months or so, I have been kind of crazy about getting engaged.  My friends - intimately aware of my premarital psychosis - suggested I blog about that, since my stories of maybe-I'll-get-engaged-tonight disasters are pretty funny.  But, even I have some sense of propriety, and it felt pretty tacky (and a little bit like inviting bad luck)... or maybe even a wee-tad-bit desperada (translation: Lori Spanglish for desperate woman) to speak so openly about my anxiety over getting engaged.  The truth is, I reminded myself very much of a hypothetical girl I used to loathe.  In fact, I even once blogged about her...

      In one of my old blogs, I wrote, in part, about engagement:
                   
                None of this is to say that I am anti-marriage -- some day, I may overcome my issues, and at some point, some man may accept all of my... issues. And it will be very, very beautiful. But I do think that maybe women should examine the surprise proposal concept. For the woman -- it gives the man all of the control over the relationship in a way that drives you absolutely INSANE... and for the men -- they are left wondering, when to do it, if to do it, where to do it, what ring to buy -- I mean the whole thing happens to be very stressful for them, too. 
               It seems to me that there is something simply beautiful about two people in love, deciding, together, that they would like to commit their lives to one another. No surprises, no guessing, no games -- just a little bit of old-fashioned, mature decision-making.  But... you can still get the ring... together.

            You can read the blog in full here

In some ways, it is sweet to read that now, as it was about four months before I met Ben (you really never know what will happen, huh?), and in other ways embarrassing how much I thought I knew about something I really knew very little about (story of my life).  But, most interestingly, I was right on about some of it...

Anyway, the long and the short of it all is that I have been an anxiety-ridden fool waiting for that ring.  I'm not proud of it - wasn't then, am not now - but it is the truth.  Ben and I had a little bit of a mutual timeline on things, time was ticking, I had picked out the ring, and it was going to be pret-ty difficult to surprise me at this point.

But he did.

The Story

As previously discussed, I am notorious for over-celebrating my birthday (I guess that's a thing), and so, appropriately, I was preparing last Thursday night for what was probably my fourth (and final) birthday celebration.  Ben chose a restaurant for his birthday dinner in Tampa this year which made me feel justified picking one in Miami.  We had just been to Miami in November for my friend Lauren's wedding and it made me want to return with Ben when I had time to show him around my old city.

So, we were going to stay with that same friend, Lauren, and her now-husband Vincent, in their home in Coconut Grove.  I had a trial competition with my high school kids on Friday and we were going to leave right after that.

                  

        Meanwhile, Ben is trying to contact Lauren, to let her in on the surprise and to solicit her help.  He didn't have her phone number so he looked her up on the Florida Bar website and cold-called her at work.  He also tried calling my mom and dad and couldn't reach them all afternoon.  Ben and Lauren spent some time that afternoon scheming.

Hours later, we are on our way to Miami, we arrive, we have champagne on Lauren and Vince's backyard terrace.  It was lovely and warm and I was so glad to be there.  Ben disappeared to get his wallet from his car before dinner, and was gone like fifteen minutes.  I went outside to check on him but he shooed me away - he was on the phone with his dad.

         Ben was not on the phone with his dad.  He was on the phone with my mom, whom he was finally able to reach, to let her in on the plan.  He told her it would be the next day.  I'm not sure of this part, but I'm guessing she almost exploded.

That night was nice - we went to dinner at a restaurant I had never been to in the Grove, sat outside, and had yummy appetizers and drinks.  Then we followed up with a few glasses of wine at a wine bar. We all had headaches in the morning.  The next day we went to the beach and had a beach day.  I also used my leverage in Lauren and Vince to force Ben to come shopping with me on South Beach, as I was not happy with my outfit choice for the evening.  In retrospect, it is a very, very good thing I bought a new dress because there were a lot of photos taken and the expense became retroactively justified.

          As Lauren and Ben were helping me pick out a dress, they knew that I was picking out my engagement dress.  Meanwhile, Ben had originally told our families he was proposing during the day, so they were all, in fact, at this moment, exploding.

When we got home from the beach day, all I wanted to do was nap.  I was exhausted.  South Beach will do that to you.  Ben was super antsy, telling me I couldn't nap, reminding me how long it takes me to shower, prodding me to get started - just generally being annoying about scheduling.  This was not suspicious.  This was typical.  Eventually I started getting ready.  At some point, Ben came to get "approval" for his South Beach outfit.  He knew I wanted him to wear a blazer (due to some pretty serious, yet justified, South Beach social anxiety), and he wasn't wearing one, but I didn't say anything.

        It turns out the blazer was an integral part of the plan - and home of the ring.  He was worried I would tell him I didn't like it or something, so he was being delicate about wardrobe.  When I finally came downstairs, he did have the blazer on - which looked nice - and Lauren and Vince overzealously displayed their approval of the jacket.

It turned out that I was proving Ben right and it was, in fact, taking me too long to get ready.  I was only about 50% done with my hair (that Miami humidity wasn't doing me any favors) and I could hear everyone's footsteps downstairs.  We were planning on having a glass of wine outside before dinner so I felt rushed to get down there and be a part of it.  I changed game plans, put the hair up, and started rushing.  Ben came in and told me I looked beautiful.  I felt better about the hair and gave up.  I went downstairs and Lauren and Vince were pouring me a glass of wine and we went outside.  Ben went upstairs to change his belt and shoes because I pointed out they didn't match.

       It doesn't take a rocket scientist from your vantage point to know what he was really doing now.  I, of course, had no idea.

Let me re-preface by saying I genuinely did not expect a proposal this weekend.  Although I had been on the lookout for months, I did not think anything would happen during a "special" weekend, or here with my friends that Ben barely knew, in a city he wasn't familiar with.  So, when Lauren and Vince scurried off to "take care of the dog", I wasn't suspicious.  I was out there by myself for a moment, thinking about how perfect the night was out there.  I took this picture and posted it on Instagram, right before Ben came outside-

Just as I was admiring the moment, and the scenery, Ben came outside, said some sweet things and I told him I would give up truffle-mac-and-cheese (from Prime 112, where we were about to go) for him.  Luckily I was feeling nice and sweet too, because a bad mood really could have jacked up the situation.  He told me he was going to give me a birthday massage.  He stood behind me as I was sitting there.

At this point, I think he was freaking out a little.  He was trying to massage my shoulders with one hand and struggling to get the ring box out of his jacket with the other.  

To be honest, the rest is a bit of a blur - it feels like the next thing I knew, there was a ring there and he was asking me to marry him.  I know what he said because I have made him repeat it a time or two since then - but the first thing I really remember him saying was "you never said yes".  So, then I did.  As soon as I came to (I feel like maybe I blacked out a little), I noticed Lauren hanging out the window snapping pictures and I realized at that point that they knew what was going on the whole time.                  

The Aftermath

It's funny when you wait so long for something - and then it happens - it never feels quite the way you had imagined.  I basically felt like I was actually in a dream (frankly, I had had hundreds of engagement dreams by this point anyway).  At some point during dinner, it kind of sunk in and I started telling pretty much any random person that would listen.  

The truth is, as much as we discussed it and planned for it and I had obviously looked forward to it, a part of me never imagined it actually happening.  You really only have to look at the words I wrote a few months before meeting Ben ("None of this is to say that I am anti-marriage -- some day, I may overcome my issues, and at some point, some man may accept all of my... issues. And it will be very, very beautiful.") to understand how I feel about it right now.  The truth is, it is very very beautiful.

                                                                  

Random Life Update

The date on this post does not put me where I thought I would be at this exact point, life-plan-2013-wise... some things have been put on hold, but life has been hectic and there is still plenty to report.

The biggest news is that Ben and I finally found a place to live and signed a lease - so, for exactly two weeks this month, we will be the proud tenants of two homes each.  At least for a little while we can still escape each other if necessary... ;-)  We are renting a cute house by a lake, with a yard for Oliver, and two bathrooms for our sanity and for the health of our relationship.  I did ask Ben if he was nervous to move in with all of my clutter and he said "no, we just aren't going to do that anymore"... which is a positive sign of realistic expectations.  

Messes aside, we are excited and I will post pictures when we start moving in and everything.  As thrilled as I am to be taking this step, I am putting some of my future plans on hold so we can focus on this phase, which is a difficult thing to do.  

In other life news, I managed to successfully take the GRE on Friday afternoon.  You take it on the computer and it just tells you your score at the end.  The advantage is that I don't have to sit around torturing myself over what might have happened... but I did feel like it made me more nervous during the test, just anticipating that score right around the corner.  I was also on edge because, although I re-registered under the correct name this time, I was pretty convinced I would get there and they would find another reason not to let me take it.  So, I'm sitting in the lobby waiting room thingy, kind of anxious and therefore irritable, and this woman, maybe about 45, became totally IRATE about the no-watch rule.  She dropped approximately 45 F-bombs and continually spoke aloud, to herself, about this terrible rule.  I guess she had a lucky watch or something.  I did get to walk away with the satisfaction of knowing that, no matter what happened on the exam... I am not her.

I also made some culinary progress... first, I added another slow cooker meal to my repertoire, which is my continual goal.  I made this - Pesto Ranch Crockpot Chicken - except I caved and used skin-on, bone-on chicken, which I'm told is not as healthful but is oh-so-yummy.  I also practiced just going to the meat section of the grocery, picking out what's on sale, and coming up with something in my head to make.  This is my ultimate dream - because relying on recipes at the grocery is burdensome and not very cost-effective.  I picked up Cajun-seasoned pork chops and made some spicy beans and rice to go with... and then I also got some crab cakes and made little sliders with arugula and a little aioli-like sauce of my own.  Overall, a success, and way cheaper than going in with my 25-ingredient Rachel Ray recipes.

Any-who, I think that's enough of a life update for now... lots of stuff brewing and I will try to update a little more frequently to avoid another random brain dump like this one in the future!

You can find me at the juice bar

I hate vegetables.  Much like a toddler, my palate is limited and I primarily enjoy vegetables that taste like dessert (like sweet potatoes).  Then again, I love truffles and foie gras so I guess I save any sophisticated tastes I have for rich and fattening things.

Anyway, it seems like part of growing up and improving myself would have to be improving my diet, which would certainly mean extending the vegetable food group past mac n cheese and cinnamon apples (if you didnt know those were vegetables you need to get to a Cracker Barrel, stat).

Naturally I am not going to begin eating broccoli or brussels sprouts or anything crazy -but, I did get a juicer! This way, I can drink my way healthy... kinda like when I drink my dinner, which typically involves alcohol and is, well, different... 

Anyway, juicing is supposed to be really good for you so I decided to give it a try.  I went to the Farmers Market on Sunday - 

                                  {as a side note, while walking with Ollie to the farmer's market, I managed            

                                   to lose my ATM card somewhere between the ATM and 50-feet-away-  

                                   from-the-ATM and later a homeless man found it in the garbage can  

                                   and turned it in to my apartment, which is nearby, in hopes that it 

                                   belonged to someone who lived there.  I believe this, of course, to be 

                                   good karma due to my good deeds with the poor.  I also have 

                                   told this story the last two times I used my debit card, as it doesn't really 

                                  work that well anymore when you swipe it.  The story has so far been 

                                  met- twice- with disgust, which I didn't anticipate, but makes sense when 

                                  you are telling a story about your card being found in the trash by a 

                                  homeless man to the person holding the card and yah...}

-and picked up supplies for a week's worth of juicing - only $20 (and it did last me the whole week, for one juice a day).  This is confirmation that you don't have to be a wealthy Whole-Foods-its to do the juice thing.

I found my juice recipes here:

Yummy yummy juice recipes

So far, I have tried Greens and Strawberry Field. 

Greens was, well... green.  It was kind of fun walking around with juice this color for shock value and all.  The truth is, it was pretty delicious and I couldn't get over how many fruits/veggies were in this one drink.  I used green apples because those are my favorite and it definitely added a tartness to it.  I did leave the skins on and my juicer is a Cuisinart, for those who have asked.

Strawberry Field was also good - I used extra strawberries just because I had them- and the carrots produced so much juice.  I think I forgot how large carrots really are since the only ones I ever buy are the baby ones I dip in hummus.  I cut the tops off the strawberries and the carrots.

And this is my juicer... you can see the pulp on the left and the juice on the right.  One thing I did learn from my test run is that although the process of juicing was actually relatively easy, it is the clean-up that is kind of annoying.  I think in the future I am going to try to juice on Sundays for the whole week and just put them in water bottles or something so I don't have to do it every day.  I did find that the drinks filled me up pretty well with all the fiber and although I wasn't trying to make them meal replacements, they easily could be.

In other health-nut-bandwagon news, I managed to work out three days this week... an all-time record... for 2013.  This yoga class I've been going to is definitely the hottest yoga class I've ever been to, which is kind of intense.  It's the kind of thing where you really want to go in just a sports bra and tiny shorts because it is so so so hot, but you look at yourself in the mirror before class and you're like... hell no, not in public.  And then, in the middle of the class, you're so hot, and so in the namaste-sweaty-moment that you think you can take your shirt off... and then you do your first forward bend and see part of your stomach hanging over with all those six-packs around and you just thing.... ok-no.  Yesterday I actually had a dinner date with Ben after class because we had a Groupon that needed spending before its expiration date... so I brought extra clothes with me and jumped in the shower at the yoga gym... and realized I forgot to bring a bra.  My sports bra was drenched thanks to the sweatygoodness of this yoga class, so I definitely went to dinner without.  

I just thought I should end this post by announcing that I am writing this post about my temporary health-nut status while drinking bourbon on the rocks.  I didn't say I became not fun.

Things That Make Me Happy Make Me Tired

It is funny how finding what makes you happy in life is only half the battle to getting to your happy place... it's actually making time for those things, making them a priority... and actually doing them that becomes the real challenge.  It is weird that it is the happy, fun, nice things, and not the unenjoyable, unpalatable things that I tend to put at the end of the list.  I mean I guess it's the crappy things - laundry, dishes, work, bills - that take priority because it's sort of difficult to get by without doing those things unless I want to end up on Hoarders, or in the food stamp line or something.

Still, the disagreeable details only take up so many hours in the day... leaving me with plenty of time to engage in some of the more pleasurable enterprises life has to offer.  The thing is, I tend to spend a lot (if not most) of that free time in front of the tv (or sleeping, if that counts as a hobby).  In some ways, I do get a lot of enjoyment out of watching real housewives and fake celebrities, but more than entertainment value, I think it's just the mindlessness of it all that helps me to decompress after a stressful day.  I do find that my vast knowledge of terrible television makes me more interesting at parties and makes awkward conversations with people who are otherwise boring me a little more tolerable, so there's that fringe benefit as well.  I do kind of just love doing nothing, too.  If "being lazy" was a hobby, it would probably be one of my favorites.  Nonetheless, there are several other activities that I find ultimately more enjoyable than television-watching (and sloth), but the real problem is they just require more effort.  And I'm tired... so tired.

So, one of my goals this year is to make more time for the things that make me more happy (and more better).  It's sort of a win-win.

I made some progress this weekend.  First, something easy.  I find that coffee and I don't get along that well.  It makes me feel jittery and anxious -- but it also makes me feel high (in a good way) and energetic, and I just love the smell and the warmth and just all of its general coffee-goodness.  Mmmm.... coffee.  

I have found, over time, that I can get a lot of these same benefits, without the drawbacks, from drinking tea.  Plus, tea is full of antioxidants and all sorts of things that people say are good for me - and I choose to believe them.  Recently, I have fallen back on the coffee wagon, so I really wanted to be back on the tea team.  My parents bought me some really nice tea from Teavana (you can find them here), which is such a fabulous place if you have even a marginal interest in tea.  They sell theirs in loose leaf form (not in a bag) so I had to buy something to make it in.  I ended up with this new gadget that I'm super obsessed with as of yesterday.

You can see here that you steep the tea leaves in the water in the thingymabobber on top and then let the tea steep in the hot water -- once it is done, you put the thingmabobber on top of your new, neat, Monty-Python-quote-baring mug, and it just pours fresh tea goodness right into your mug.  Best thing ever :-)

And, I suppose I should state the obvious, which is that, yes, I do realize that making and drinking tea may not seem like much of a hobby and you thought I might say that I was going to run a marathon or something actually exciting... you can now see that when I say I decline to do things that make me happy although they require minimal effort, you can now see what I'm talking about...

However, I did throw in some physical activity this weekend too and went to yoga for the first time in a long time.  I have had a couple of yoga phases and I always loved the way that it made me feel.  Of course, yoga costs money (sometimes a lot) and certainly requires the exertion of energy -- so yoga and I haven't been that tight in recent times.  But, I have a good friend that I haven't seen much of in awhile and we are trying to get back in touch -- and she happens to be doing a lot of yoga lately...  so, it was kind of perfect.  We went to Orlando Power Yoga, a place I had never been before but a style I am familiar with.  I paid $40 for 40 days unlimited, with the idea that if I pay for it I will go, although this exact line of reasoning has failed me many times (it turns out that laziness just always wins over everything, even money).  It pretty much kicked my ass (and a girl in the class straight passed out -- so gangster), but it felt good to be back in the namaste groove.

Anyway, I feel great today and am definitely motivated to continue doing things that make me happy.  I know, like that's hard...

What's in an Outfit?

Do you ever wake up in the morning and pull your hair back in a pony to wash your face and somehow end up with the perfectly-done, effortless-looking updo?  Or maybe wake up with the ideal tousled wave to volume ratio?  Every time that happens to me, I inevitably engage in a self-to-self debate over whether I could really go to work with unbrushed hair... But, the moment I do brush it and try to recreate the look in a more pulled-together kind of way... it is totally ruined.

I was thinking that when it comes to my work wardrobe, I am always walking this fine line: I'd like to look professional, because Im in court and all... but also cute because that makes me happy while at work... but not too cute because I am, after all, dealing with inmates and going to jail.  Today, for example, I chose an indigo shade of striped tights... and I find myself wondering if the clients I meet look at me and have any faith in my maturity or competence.

<--- Yah, I'm wearing these to court.

I was thinking about this, not only because I have taken to blogging while I take the bus to work and people are staring at my eccentric outfit as I type this... but it also brings me to a funny work story.  I recently had a video chat with a client (we can video conference with clients at the jail) who clearly didn't recognize me as the person he had met the month before, which I am basing on the comment he made that I am "much prettier than the girl that he saw the first time" (yah, that was me).  I really started thinking that either I need to start  a webcam business or that I really need to think about how I look at work if from day to day I am that unrecognizable from good day to bad.  

Actually, Ben and I went to look at more rental properties today and I was a little late and texted the realtor that I got held up in court.  That was the absolute truth, but I realized when I arrived he would likely take one look at my Punky Brewster outfit and begin to doubt that I had been anywhere near a courtroom (enter joke about Fashion Police here).

Nonetheless, in other news, I had a good ending to my work day (a sentencing that I was nervous about that went better than expected) and after an unusually trying week of work, this Friday is ever-so-welcome.  

I just got a text from Ben that he is picking me up for a date at 7:15 and to dress nice.   That is ironic based on the theme of this post.  I will update later if I get any more looks.

Happy Weekend All

Resolutions were made to be broken? ... Already

In Resolution news, I have nearly ruined any progress my 7-day cleanse may have initiated.  We went to Dylan's Cafe yesterday for lunch - and how am I to go to a French restaurant and not eat ham, bechamel and cheese... Ok, and a crepe for dessert (they made it with Nutella annnnnd white chocolate... Seeeeriously???) 

                           Check out Dylan's Deli here for further temptation... 

And, I havent worked out once in 2013.  This is why people dont make resolutions.  In case it matters (and I tend to believe that it does), good food may present a threat to my resolutions, but it also makes me so so happy (and isn't that important too???)

I did actually attempt my first workout of 2013 today... a friend of mine invited me to meet her at a workout class and then do drinks after.  Ok, social time followed by booze - you've sold me, and I'm working out.  Unfortunately she had to cancel, but I decided to go anyway, primarily because I paid in advance.  

                           This is the class I almost made it to... Barre workout (super fun)

So, I stayed in the office until 6:45, brought workout clothes, changed at work, and went to the class on my own.  I, in true Lori fashion, got lost (going somewhere I have been approximately 50 times), and was late to class.  In further Lori fashion, once I was there (five minutes) late, I refused to go in due to the likelihood of embarrassment -- and so I turned right back around and went home.   I guess I could have gone straight to the gym in my building... instead, I poured a drink and turned on the telly.  Better luck next time...

Ben and I have been looking for houses (to rent -- more about this later), which has become us looking at houses and then going out to lunch every day.  Ben regularly dines out for lunch but I'm pretty good about eating in... the issue is, I am fine eating in and having the same thing every day for lunch.... but, the minute you get me out at a good restaurant (see prior words regarding French delis), I refuse to accept a salad as an acceptable meal.  Today, we landed at the Italian Beefstro.  You did not read that incorrectly.  

It is this little gem of a place

<-----------

... full of sandwiches recognized for their deliciousness....

Featured in Best Sandwiches Article

And I had something like THIS....

                 Sigh... anyway, tomorrow is a new day... pretty sure I know how to make it to the Barre class for now so we will hope we are disaster-free and can maybe be less than a total embarrassment to our own resolutions...